I'll Never be the Same
by TheBestOfBlackBuler
Summary: Ciel is a young man that was kidnapped as a child. Now that he has been rescued he has met a charming man by the name of Sebastian Michealis. Will Ciel ever trust again? Can he ever love someone who is dear to him? (Sorry really bad summary. This is my first fanfic so go easy on me)
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1:**

It was bright and sunny day in the meadow. The sun was setting in the distance over the hills, coloring the meadow with a beautiful tint of soft orange and yellow. Four adults sat on a picnic blanket relaxing in the light, while two children play in the grass. Soon the sky would be ink black and speckled with twinkling lights shining brightly, becoming the painting of Starry Night by Vincent van Gogh.

"Don't wander of too far son!" said one of the fathers with his deep, yet soft voice.

"I won't dad!" replied the boy as he ran off with his younger girl cousin.

They ran to their favorite spot at this meadow. It was a big oak tree in the distance where their parents could no longer see them but close enough that they could run back in time to leave. In the light of the sunset, the tree was beautifully lit up and colorful due to the season that happened to be autumn.

They sat and played together for a long time. They laughed and tickled each other, having lots of fun, but like all cousins they started to bicker and argue. This time it happened to be all about the boy's height, because in truth he was short even for a young boy. This short boy also happened to be very stubborn and prideful so he would never admit his lack in growth. They fought and eventually the young girl gave up and said "Fine, you're not short, but you're still slow!" as she dashed away.

He chased her, but silently he admitted to himself that he was indeed slower than his cousin, as he fell behind. "Wait for me!" he yelled, but she couldn't hear him. "Hey, I said wait up!" he said again, but this time it was quieter from a lack of air. His breaths became shorter and shorter as his asthma restricted his breathing. "I said wait" he said as loudly as he could as he got to an uncomfortable distance from her.

"Hey wai-"he was cut off by a big hand being clasped around his mouth. The air cooled and the wind stopped. It seemed like all sound had halted around them. No rustle of grass moving in the wind. No shuffling sound of a squirrel running by. Not a sound. Everything seemed to slow down. The clouds seemed to stop moving in the sky, and the trees stopped swaying. It was as if time itself had stopped.

"It's okay kid. Your parents left and asked me to bring you home. So can you please be a good boy and follow me to the car?" a deep voice said. Not like his Father's deep, sweet, loving voice though. This voice was deep, menacing, and evil. This voice sounded like the words it had spoken had been uttered by the devil himself.

The boy wasn't stupid. He tried to scream but all that was heard was a muffled noise blocked by the hand. He tried to hit, kick, claw, and bite the man behind him, but the man wouldn't let go. The boy was dragged away to a car. The man put a gag in his mouth, blindfold on his eyes, and stuffed him in the trunk. The car started and the boy thought to himself "_why did I have to be so slow?"_

* * *

I woke up screaming in the large, dark, cold room that was filled with other teen boys my age, which I had become accustomed to over time. My heart pounding, eyes watering, throat aching, and chest heaving. I ran my fingers through my hair and tugged on my slate colored locks. After my panic attack it took me 10 minutes to regulate my breathing again. Why do I have to relive that day over and over in my dreams? Why am I so short? Why am I such a slow runner? Why hasn't Lizzy come for me yet? She was the last one to see me. Why can't I forget her voice "_Ciel, come sit with me." "Ciel will you have a tea party with me?"_

I need to just stop thinking about them. No, forget them completely. Forget Mom and Dad. Forget Aunt Francis and Uncle Alexis. Most importantly I have to forget Elizabeth. I need to worry about what is happening right now. That was 6 years ago already. No one is coming for me. What I need to do is get ready for the horrible day ahead of me.

* * *

**Hi everyone who decided to read this, thank you. So this is my first ever fan fiction (if you can't tell) and I'd like to know how I did so please review so that I can make my writing better and decide if I should continue posting or not. Okay I'll probably post the next chapter anyways (because I already have it written) but please review so that I can make it more to your liking. thx :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

I got up and sat on my bed, unable to go back to sleep. I have nights like this a lot, just not always that bad. I don't know exactly how many days go by, but from my counting I wake up like that somewhere about once a week.

One by one the other boys who usually wake up early start to sit up and stretch. I sit on my bed quietly staring at the blank cement wall in the dim light of the room. The other boys give each other looks of kindness and some even exchange words, but they don't even try to talk to me anymore. I don't particularly enjoy the any of the other boys' company, but one of them has always been my "friend" (if u could call him that) in this horrible place. His name being Alois Trancy.

Alois is a year older than me, and much more outgoing. He is blond, loud, dare I say it, taller than me, and VERY annoying. He had been here a couple more years than I, and he had it the worse compared to the other boys, so when I came here he showed me how to survive in this torturous place. He had been the only one good to me since _that day._

I was taken out of my thoughts when the big metal door swung open and the men came in. "Get up! Time to get ready you dirty whores!" they screamed at us. Everyone instantly woke up, that is everyone except Alois of course. I ran over to him, "Get up Alois! You know they're going to punish you again" I said. His only reply was a small snore. One of the men yanked me away from him and shoved me towards the door. "Get out of here kid" he said, showing his disgusting teeth and rotten breath. As I walked away I saw the man pull Alois off his little makeshift bed and punch him in the stomach. Hard. I turned my head and was ushered out by the other men while I heard him cry out in pain from what was most likely a kick.

We were given small bowls of what could only be described as mush. They gave us food every morning (or our morning which I assume is actually night in the outside world), but only a little more than needed to keep us alive, so that we could also stay in shape. I take my first bite and cringe at the unbearable taste. I take my second and I eat it no problem. I guess when you have eaten the same thing every day for the last six years u get used to it.

By the time I was half way done (about five bites in) Alois sat down next to me. "Good morning" he says in a very happy tone. I'm pretty sure that is why I think he is so annoying. He has this way of deluding himself into thinking that this is all okay. That this isn't the worst situation to be in. That this is all just normal. Sometimes I'm jealous of him, the way he can still feel happy here.

"It didn't look like a 'good' morning, since you got another beating and all" I reply.

"Oh come on, it's not like it doesn't happen all the time. I'm just a heavy sleeper. Plus it wasn't as bad as usual today"

"Oh yeah, then what's this" I say poking his ribs. He winces of course. "Is it broken or bruised?" I ask.

"It doesn't feel broken just really uncomfortable." He said quietly.

"Okay, just try to keep their hands off that spot today okay."

"Alright"

He looked towards his food and I looked in his eyes. That's how I know he's actually not okay. He never will be. When I look into his icy blue eyes I can tell he is so damaged emotionally that he will never be the same as he was before all this. He can be repaired but never good as new. I'm the same way. I wonder if he can see my hidden pain in my cobalt eyes. If he can see through my mask.

He looks over at me and has this odd expression on his face. Then I realize I've been staring at him. I reach over and put my arm around his shoulder and give his arm a reassuring squeeze.

And with that, we continued to eat out food.

Then it was time to be washed and put to work. They stripped us all of our worthless rags and then washed us with big scrubby brushes and freezing soapy water on the concrete floor. After that they send us up the stairs naked and defenseless to the waiting customers.

We each are sent to a separate room and in come the men and their horrid bodies. I don't know how long we have to go through people using our bodies in the most despicable ways every day, but usually I get around 20 people coming to use me a day. They are horrible. I never thought that my life would turn out this way. Being forced to let men use me as their toy. To have to let men r…r-rape me every day.

I hate it. Having to let them do this to me. Honestly I wish I would just die. That one of the men would injure me badly enough that they would need to get rid of me, or just kill me to do it, but they won't. The world won't let them. If I was supposed to die here I already would have. So would Alois. And all the other boys who have been here more than a year. We would have, just like the others, but we haven't. We are meant to do something, and that something isn't going to be dying here.

**Hello everyone. Wow two updates in technically one day! So I just wanted to say I will be updating every Friday (hopefully). Hope you liked the second chapter. The next one will be longer. Please review.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

I'm finally done with "work" and so they give me back my clothes and send me back to my sleeping room. I sit at my spot and wait for Alois. I sit and do what I do every day. Sulk. I think about what I could have done to stop my kidnapping, or why couldn't I have been nicer to someone one day before I was taken away, or think about how worried my parent probably are. Rather were. They have most likely moved on and done something with their lives.

When he walks in, he looks so beat tired that he might pass out in the middle of a step.

"Hey Alois. Are u too tired to talk?"

"No, it's just that all the really demanding ones came on today."

"Oh… so how's your ribs?"

"There fine, just a little sore. So any interesting happen today?

"Do we really need to talk about this? I mean there are way better things to talk about." I reply. I never like to talk about the horrors that happen every day, but Alois doesn't seem to mind at all.

"No, Ciel you need to get over it okay. This is our life, and if you want to talk we have to talk about life, so come on tell me."

"Okay" I grumble. "That weird guy who always stares at me for like 20 minutes came in today and he started to scare me. Plus that dude who is really meticulous—"

"Big words Ciel, remember who you are talking to."

"Oh shut up. The dude who likes everything to be perfect came in and screamed at me for doing everything wrong. Is that better?"

"Yes. Oh and I hate him, his expectations are too high for everyone."

"Yeah that's how lots of _meticulous _people are." Is said under my breath.

"Oh shut up you little moth—"

"ALOIS!" yelled a little boy as he was thrown in the room.

"Hey Luka! How are u today little brother?"

The boy stumbled over. His short legs tripping over one another while trying to run. He falls (just like all the time) flat on his face.

He lifts his head up and smiles. "I'm good." He said with his beautiful light brown hair covering his eyes. Alois and Luka had been brought here the same year. Alois had been 7, and Luka 4. Alois had been put to cleaning work with Luka, like all small children were here. They were kidnapped together. They learned the ropes of this place together. They ate, drank, and slept together. They did all of this as a team for 9 years and still are. After all this time they have become like brothers. Sometimes I wish that I had a brother, even a fake one like them, just someone to watch out for me. I guess that Alois is the closest I'll ever get to that.

"How were the kids today Luka? Did any of them cause any trouble?" Alois asked him.

"No, they all actually did a pretty good job. The water pipes got a bit loose today though. I had to go tighten it and apparently I 'didn't do it fast enough' so I got a punishment."

In this place there are two types of prisoners. There are the "sluts" and the "workers". Alois and I are a part of the "slut" group, while Luka is a "worker". Alois was deemed to have a good enough body to be in our group (as was I) but Luka was more of the cleanup kind of material. He was recently "promoted" to the lead boy who got to mostly oversee the other younger children while they worked, but he had to fix broken things around the place.

"How about you? I saw you get a beating this morning. I hate those guys. They never treat us right and hurt us for no reason. They should get punished one day. Alois if I could kill everyone who hurt you I would. I'd murder them all myself." Luka said with pure anger

"Luka don't say stuff like that. You'll get in trouble." Was Alois' response.

"But would. I'd do anything for you bro. You are my whole world. You're the only person I've got left. You are like royalty to me, your highness." Luka said. He meant it all the way from the bottom of his heart. I could tell by the look in his eyes. His big brown eyes were filled with hatred, loyalty, and most importantly love. The love between two bonded brothers.

''Thank you Luka. I'd do the same for you." Alois said.

**_BANG!_** The metal doors swung open. "Alright, everyone in there spots. I want everyone asleep in 10 minutes when I come to check on you." The man yelled.

We all scurried back to our "beds" and closed our eyes.

"Goodnight Ciel" Alois called.

"G'night"

I wake up screaming again. This time I don't have a panic attack which is nice. I get up and do my normal routine. Sit and wait for everyone to wake up.

One by one the others start to wake up. For once I see a head of light brown hair jolt up out of its sleep. Frantically looking for Alois, Luka's eyes look around in panic. He crawls over to his brother. "Alois" he says as he shakes his arm. "Bro wake up" he says in a frantic voice.

"Luka, come here" I whisper.

He crawls over to me. "What's the matter?" I ask genuinely worried.

"I had a nightmare." He says in an innocent tone. Of course I then ask, "What was it about?"

"There were policemen everywhere. They were trying to help but they really didn't help at all. All of them got shot and died. And then some of the men here said that I called them, even though I didn't. Then one of them had Alois in his arms with a gun to his head…" he stopped to sniffle and wipe his tears. "Then th–the man sh–sh–shot him in the head and he said it was all my fault!" He was sobbing by the time he was done.

I pulled him into my lap and hugged the 13 year-olds head to my chest. "Oh Luka, that's not going to happen okay. Alois isn't going to die. Not now at least." I tried to say in the most comforting tone that I could. I knew that this kid will never be alright. He was brought here at 4. He probably doesn't remember much else from this. Maybe his mother's face and the house he lived in, but he couldn't remember anything more than that most likely.

I got up and walked over to Alois. I knew just how to wake him up. I bent down, looked into his peaceful sleeping face and then down his torso. He is so cute when he's sleeping. Then I took my finger and jabbed it right into his bruised rib.

"OOOWWWW" he screamed in pain.

He looked down and clasped his hand over his throbbing rib. "What the fuck was that for?" he asked.

"I didn't want you to get a broken rib so I woke you up. Oh and Luka's crying so go comfort him before-"

The door swung open right then and the men came in to wake the rest of us up.

We did the same thing as every day. We ate our mush got our "bath" and now we are getting our pills.

They give us this drug every day to make sure that we don't resist the clients. It gives us this dreadful high so that we are still responsive, and even though we mentally know what is going on, our bodies don't have the strength to resist.

I walk up the stairs with Alois in front of me. I turn to the right and there is the door with the guards standing in front of it. They all have guns. Big guns, little guns, strong guns, weak guns, manual guns, and automatic guns. Just an out every gun there is has been held by the hand of a man who works here.

I turn to my right and I see Luka sweeping the floors. He looks up and smiles at me and his brother. That big goofy grin plastered on his face. His bangs were hanging in his face like always.

Then I hear the door to the right swing open and stomping. I see the man next to Luka freeze. His eyes went wide and his body rigid. Suddenly he pulled Luka into a head lock. I turn my head towards the door and there are dozens of FBI agents coming in at a time. The one with a big grey moustache holds out his gun and yells "ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE PUT YOUT HANDS ABOVE YOUR HEAD"

The drugs are starting to kick in. Everything starts to go fuzzy, but what I see next is something that neither I nor Alois will ever forget. We will remember this moment clear as day forever. I turn my head to the left again and see Luka's terrified face. The man holding him looks crazy.

"SIR LET GO OF THE BOY AND PUT YOU HANDS ABOVE YOUR HEAD" I hear from behind me.

The man looks at me. His eyes bore into mine. It hurts to keep looking, but I can't help it. Then his line of sight changes to Alois. Alois looks devastated, like he knows what's happening next.

In the blink of an eye the man's grip on his gun tightens as Luka mouths "Your Highness"

The gun goes off.

Then all hell breaks loose.

* * *

**Hey** **everyone**. **So how was this chapter? I know these chapters are kind of short and slow, but the next one will be longer. I PROMISE THAT. Please review and let me know how I'm doing and what I could improve on (but that list could go on forever). Thanks for reading. I'll update next Friday.**


	4. Chapter 4

**So I guess I should mention this before I get in trouble but, no I do not own kuroshitsuji or any of it's characters.**

**Chapter 4**

I instantly grab Alois' arm and duck. We cover our heads as gunshots begin to be fired in all directions. The whole place was in chaos. Bodies falling to the ground every second, piles of empty shells on the floor.

I look over at the man who shot Luka. The once evil man was now just an empty body of him with a bullet in his head.

Alois looks over as well. He didn't see what I saw though. Instead of seeing the man, he saw what his brother once was.

Luka's body was lying on the ground with a pool of blood beneath it. Covered in blood, was his beautiful hair and adorable face. Completely oblivious to what was happening around us, Alois crawled over to him. "Alois get your ass back here! We have to go now!" I yelled, barely able hear myself over the gun shots. He picked up Luka's body and his head rolled to the side. As I looked at his face, his eyes were wide, and his jaw hanging loosely open. Luka's once enchanting, excited, innocent eyes were now completely lifeless. Alois started to shake the body. "Luka… Luka wake up. We have to go Luka." He plead to the vacant body. "PLEASE LUKA WAKE THE FUCK UP RIGHT NOW! He said while violently shaking the lifeless body of Luka.

I yank Alois' arm away from the kid. He tries so hard to hold on but I'm jerking his torso with so much force he has to let go. "NO WE HAVE TO GET LUKA! WE CAN'T LEAVE HIM! HE'S MY LITTLE BR-" he is cut off by a bullet fizzing passed his face. A line of blood appears on his face and starters to trickle down. I can tell he has finally come to his senses. "Come on we have to go. Now!" I say to him. We get down on all fours again and start to move. We army crawl as if our life depends on it (which really it does).

_I have to think strategically about this. If we go around the corner there is a closet full of cleaning supplies. We could hide their, but we would have to go towards the men. If we were to crawl towards the FBI agents then we be in the direct line of fire. Or we could hide on the stairs where both the FBI and the men are. Last option is the best. Less chance of being shot to death and less likely to be captured again._

I turn around and say "To the stairwell" to Alois. He looks at me with is sad crying eyes and then follows me. We go to the stairs and lay down on them, cover our heads, and curl into a ball. Then we wait.

I hear him sobbing on the stair above me. I can understand. He really did love that kid. All he ever wanted to do was talk to me and Luka. Now I'm all he's got, and to be truthful I'm not at all a great friend. I never really have been.

Because of knowing that guns don't have unlimited bullets, the shooting probably only lasted about 5 to 10 minutes, but it seemed like forever. We had to sit on the stairs helpless. We had to watch all of these people getting hurt. Bodies constantly falling to the floor, and blood everywhere. It seemed like we were soldiers who had been captured by enemy forces. Our team had finally come back for us.

I hide thinking what if my life ends like this? What if I lived just to have a meaningless, empty life, just to die? Even poor Luka had something he lived for, Alois. What did I have? Nothing. My parents don't care. My friends have long forgotten me. Even my best friend in the world, Lizzy, has probably moved on.

All the sudden the gunshots stop. I here footsteps and men walking around. I'm so afraid. What are they going to do to us if they find us hiding like cowards? What punishment will they give us this time?

I am touched on the shoulder and I flinch. This hand feels gentle though. It feels motherly like. I turn around and I see a beautiful woman with dark brown hair and forest green eyes. In her eyes I see the pain and sorrow as she looks at me and Alois. She gives us each a blanket and cautiously says "Would you boys please come with me? I'm going to take you out of here okay. You guys are going to go home."

She helps us rap our naked bodies up and walk outside. There are tons of government vehicles outside, FBI agents, boys like me, and lots of body bags. People are wheeling out 5 bodies at a time. Men, woman, and young boys are all being taken out of the building. All of them are dead. The lady takes us to a man with light brown hair and kind brown eyes. He wears a very dark brown fedora on his head, and a matching trench coat to go with it. Underneath his white button up shirt can be seen with a dark green tie to accompany it. He also looks pretty young. Maybe mid-twenties or early thirties. By the way he stands and fidgets I can tell he must be knew to these types of things. "Hello boys. My name is Abberline. Can I please know your names?"

"Alois Trancy"

"Ciel Phantomhive."

He writes what I'm assuming is our names down on a clipboard. "Okay nice to meet you" he said as he puts his hand out toward me. What is that for again? I look at Alois who has the same confused look I'm wearing. "Hello? Boys? Anyone in there?" he says. "Oh you guys remember this don't you? A hand shake. For greeting people?" he says hopefully. He puts his hand out once more. I put my hand out and he grabs it, and I flinch from the contact. He starts to move our hands in an up and down motion. I now remember all the times I had to do this. Whenever Mom's friends had come over, or when Dad had business dinners. I remember that I actually had to do this a lot.

"Well I'm going to have you guys jump in the car here and I'll drive you to headquarters. Okay?" We both shake our head in agreement and get in the car. I'm really nervous though. What if he's faking and takes us somewhere else? What is he sells us off? Oh god, I'm starting to get afraid. I can feel my heart racing and my panic attack coming on. Then the nice woman from before gets in. I don't know why but her presence is settling to me. I start to calm down now. The car starts and the four of us start to drive away.

Alois is starts to cry again. I grab his hand and squeeze it, hoping that will make the pain lessen. I take my hand and run it across his face, wiping all his tears away and causing his eyes to close. We then drift into a deep, peaceful sleep that neither of us have had in a long time.

I slightly wake up as the car stops. "Alright, wake up guys. We have to get you guys all clean and rested." I hear a feminine voice say through the fogginess of my waking mind. I peak open my eyes and look at her. "I think that you guys have had enough rest though. So come on and we'll get you cleaned up, okay?" she asks. "Okay" I respond in a quiet voice.

Looking to the left I see Alois. His head drooping to the side in his deep sleep. His eyes are read and swollen from the crying he did before. His skinny little body Thad had been deprived of food was limp because of his unconsciousness. His chest is rising and falling with the sores that could be heard coming from his mouth.

"Hey, Alois," I say quietly. "It's time to get up." I shake his arm and he starts to stir. His crystal blue eyes open slightly and he looks at me in annoyance. He huff and gets out of the car, as do I.

They take us into the building and we shower. When I get of the shower I look in the mirror. I look so different from the last time I saw myself. I've defiantly grown taller, but in all other aspects, all I see is ugly. I'm so skinny that I can see my bones. My ribs jut out from my chest as my spine does from my back. I'm pale as the white walls around me. The only color left to me is my collate eyes. I almost look like skeleton.

After this horrible realization I decide to stay away from the mirrors. I get dressed in the clothes that they gave us. I got dark grey jeans, some pair of shoes, a black t-shirt, and a loose fitting blue sweatshirt. It kind of feels uncomfortable because of all the weight, but I guess it feels warm.

I walk out of the bathroom I walk into a large room full of tables, magazine racks, and lounge chairs. I look to the right and see that woman seated in one of the chairs. She is now wearing a nice ruffled green shirt, faded jeans, and a pair of black boots. She looks so at peace with her headphones on, listening to music. Tapping her feet and nodding her head to the music, she looks so pretty.

I walk closer and stand next to her. She looks up and notices me. "Oh hey kid." She says after taking out her headphones. "Grab a chair."

I take a chair from one of the tables and drag it over to where she is seated. I sit there and we just look at each other for a good minute in an awkward silence.

"So where's the other boy?" she asks.

"Oh, Alois. He's just taking his time. He'll be out in a minute." I say.

"I'm sorry but… what's your name again?"

"Um, Ciel Phantomhive." I reply.

"Oh, I'm Abigail, but you can call me Abby if you'd like. I'm Abberline's partner if you haven't already figured that out. We are going to keep you guys safe until you can go home. Actually Abberline is trying to contact any family members of yours right now"

"Really?!" I ask slightly excited. If this is a dream I will kill myself. They are actually going to take me home! I'll get to see Mom, Dad, and maybe even Elizabeth!

"Yeah really. If you want to help you could give us the names of your parents.

Oh god. What were their names? I know what they are it has just been so long since I've had to say, or even think them.

Alois walks out in a red long-sleeved shirt, sweatpants, and some black shoes. He looks at us, walks over to the tables, grabs a chair, drags it over to us, and sits down. I look at his face and I can tell he's been crying again. I can't blame him though. I mean his brother died not even eight hours ago. I scoot my chair right up next to him and let his head rest on my shoulder.

"My parents…" I start to say just as Abberline walks in the large room.

"Ciel, I have been able to contact your parents. Rachel and Vincent Phantomhive will be on their way to get you. They said they should arrive in about five hours." He says.

I am so full of joy that I jump out of my chair. "Really? You actually talked to them? I'm really going home?" I ask.

"Yes Ciel. And Alois I'm very sorry to say this, but I couldn't find anything about you or your parents.

I sit back down next to him and he lays his head on me again.

"I figured. My real name is Jim Macken. Even if you search that name not much will come up. I was orphaned at 3. When I went to the orphanage I never told them my last name. When I ran way at seven I was kidnapped. I don't have a family."

This was something I didn't even know. I never thought to ask about his previous life. I always thought that he had a mourning family out there.

"Well maybe if I ask, my parents would take you in. I mean even though I was young, I know that we were pretty wealthy. One more person shouldn't be a problem." I suggest.

"Until then he will have to be taken in by child services. But tonight all of you boys who were saved will be staying the night here." Abby says.

Alois looks unemotional. His face blank, eyes staring somewhere far, far away from here.

"Alright then, I think it's time you guys get some sleep, so if you would like that then follow me." Abberline yawns.

We walk with Abberline and Abby down the hall to a gigantic room full of hundreds of beds. Alois and I find two right next to each other and lie down. As the adults walk away I see them holding hands. Abby rests her head on his shoulder as he raps his arm around her waist.

I turn over and look at Alois. I reach out and grab his hand. He is wide awake, but I am drifting off to sleep. Right before my unconsciousness I think "_this is the first time I've seen him not want to sleep"_

I am awoken by Abby who takes me out to the front of the building, Alois is trailing close behind. I turn around a corner and see them. A beautiful blue eyed, blond haired, woman stands in the arms of a tall slate headed man. My parents. The woman looks at me and exclaims "Oh my dear god, it's really you! Ciel! My little boy." She bolts out of the man's arms and runs to me. She embraces me with nothing less than a bear hug. She is saying incoherent things to me and I can feel the tears running down her face.

The man is just standing there wide eyed and mouth open. He slowly makes is way over to us and raps his arms around us. "My son…" he says softly.

"M… Mom? Dad…?" I whisper almost inaudible. "Yes son, it really is us." My father says. All of us are crying at this point.

We are finally together. After they finally let me go to sign some papers, I turn and grab Alois by the arm. I walk him over to my parents and explain his situation and our friendship. I almost have to get down on my knees and beg, but I don't have to go that far. We have to stay the rest of the night at a nearby hotel. Then when we wake up in the morning we go back to police station. They get all the paperwork done, although it takes hours. They pay the money and become legal guardians of my best friend.

When we are walking out of the building Abby grabs my arm. "Hey if either one of you boys need to talk to anyone you can call us." she hands each of us a piece of paper with 2 phone numbers on it.

"Okay, I'll think about it." I say. Alois just nods at her and continues walking.

We all get in the car and endure the five hour ride home.

**Okay so I'm just a couple of days late with this update, but it's pretty long. If you are wondering were Sebastian is, he is coming into the story in the next chapter. **

**So it took me FOREVER to write this. Like god writing takes a long time, especially if you're doing a good job (and I know I'm not doing the best I could be). So because writing takes so long I need at least 7 more reviews. ****So if you would like to meet Sebastian leave a review please. **

**Like people, there are how many of you reading this? I know if this story is worth anything then it can get a measly total of 8 reviews. So if there is enough reviews I'll post around Friday.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey you guys. So we all know that I don't own kuroshitsuji or anything like that. Please read my note at the bottom, it is important. Oh and I didn't edit so if there is any mistakes please forgive me.**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

**_4½ years later._**

It is always so peaceful in my room. It is so quiet and tranquil that I could sleep all day. Sometimes the birds chirp outside and sing me a song until I wake up. Sometimes the window left cracked open lets the fall breeze blow on my face. In the spring the big window that covers most of my wall lets in the smells of all the new flowers, trees, and fruits. Through the grogginess of my sleeping mind, I hear my door swing open. "Ciel, get your lazy ass up and let's go!"

I roll over in my covers and curl up into a ball. Although I used to wake up so early in the "morning", now I am not a morning person at all. Especially on this day.

"Come on buddy, you promised that you would wake up today. We have lots to do you little prick."

What kind words to wake up to from my best friend. He jumps on top of me and makes me lie flat on my back. I open my big tired eyes and give him a very annoyed look.

"You better get up mister." He says. My only response to him was a blank stare. "Alright, fine. You asked for it." He bends his head down towards mine. Knowing what's coming next I try to wiggle out of his grasp, but he has a strong grip. He then sticks out his long pink lounge and licks my ear.

"Ewwww! Get the fuck off me man!" I yell at him. He doesn't stop there though. He takes his wiggly tongue and runs it right down my cheek and onto my lips. Now I'm enraged, so I work up all the strength I can and throw him off of me down onto the floor. I can hear him giggling that stupid high pitched giggle of his. I grab my eye patch and tie it onto my head. Then I look over the side of my bed at Alois Trancy, my best friend, and give him a death glare, but it only seems to make him giggle more.

* * *

I put the last box up into the moving truck and shut the back. I turn around and see my mom standing in the doorway with her hands over her mouth and her eyes red.

"Oh come on Mom. I thought you said that you wouldn't do this. I'm just moving 20 minutes away from here. Plus I have Alois to look after me." I say trying to reassure her about my decision.

She looks over my shoulder at Alois. I turn around to see him with his headphones in dancing like a stripper. I turn back to see my mother's face. I can tell that didn't help at all. "And Elizabeth will be right next door also. Okay Mom?" all she does I'm return is nod and hug me in a very long, deep, heartfelt, caring, motherly hug. A very long hug as she starts to cry on my shoulder. I'm only as tall as her now, but I'm done growing now, so I guess this is where I'm stuck. Seeing eye to eye with my mother.

My father walks out of the house and gives me a hug. "Alright son, good luck with living by yourself."

"Don't forget about me!" Alois yells trying to hear himself over the music.

"Okay then, living by yourself with that." Says my dad pointing at Alois.

"Thanks dad. I love you guys." I say as I get into the driver's seat of the truck.

"We love you too. Call anytime. If you change your mind you can always come home!" mom yells as we drive away.

* * *

We arrive at our apartment not 15 minutes later. As soon as I get out of the vehicle I hear, "CIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEL!" from a squealing voice. I look over and see my dearest friend Lizzy. Her blond curls bouncing as she runs towards me. She wears a pretty, soft, pink blouse, with blue jeans and a pair of dark brown boots. As I admire her she gets the chance to tackle me which of course she takes. She puts all her weight on me so fall to the ground with her on top of me, of corset she is still squeezing me.

"Ciel! You're finally here! I've been waiting for you guys all day!" she says looking into my eyes with a pout on her face. "I know, I just had to get ready and say good bye is all." I say trying to make her get off of me.

"But you're late! You were supposed to be here so we could celebrate your birthday! We were going to have brunch!"

"I know, but I was really hungry when I woke up, so I ate. There is no reason that I should eat now because I am already full."

She eventually slides off of me and helps me up.

"So Elizabeth, my dear friend, how are you today?"

"Ciel, I told you to call me Lizzy!" she says to me in a sad tone. "But I'm fine, just really bored.

"Well if you so bored then stop standing there and help us move some boxes." Alois chirps in with an annoyed look on his face as he already is going up the stairs with a box in his hand.

Lizzy and I then start to grab some boxes and head upstairs.

* * *

After I'm all done unpacking, I just want to lay down and sleep. I go over to my Victorian style bed and crawl under my navy blue comforter. I close my eyes and just think. It has been almost 5 years since we were rescued. Now I've become good friends wish Lizzy again. Bonded with my parents. And even started going to college.

When I was a young boy my parents had noticed that my academic level had been quite high. It had turned out that I was a "genius". In reality I font like that word. I just learned and mastered things at a faster rate than other kids did. I loved to read practically from the time I could talk. My vocabulary was so wide I could understand college levee books from the time I was eight. But because of all the time that I had missed in school, I lost lots of time I would have spent learning. Now I am just an average adult in college.

Just as I am drifting off to sleep someone opens my door and pounces on me.

"Alright sleepy head. Time get up" I hear my blond-headed energetic roommate say.

"But I just fell asleep" I mumble with an angry tone.

Then I am jerked up and off the bed by both Elizabeth and Alois. They both have this mischievous grin on their faces.

"Since you would let us celebrate your birthday this morning, we're going to go out." Lizzy says.

Confused with what was going on I say, "What do you mean going out?"

Alois explains with a sly smirk on his face, "Well this is your 21st birthday, and since you never wanted to indulge in alcohol before that age, we are going to go to go to a club, and drink. Happy birthday."

"Oh, shut up. God please let me sleep!"

"No way in hell. Now get your ass in the bathroom and take a shower. Brush your hair while you're at it." Lizzy says to me.

"And what if I don't?" I question.

"Oh you better. Or I'll come in there and shower with you. I just know how much you'll love that, Ciel." Alois threatens. I just shiver at the thought. A naked Alois is something I'd rather not see (again).

"Alright, I'll take the god damn shower." I quickly say back.

* * *

When I get out of the shower I rap my towel around my waist and walk into my room. What I find is Alois sat on my bed with a neatly folded outfit by him.

"Do you need help getting dressed?" he asks in an innocent tone, but anyone who really knows him knows that he is anything but innocent.

"No, I can do it myself." I reply.

I put on the outfit and turn to see myself in the mirror. On my bottom half I am wearing light grey skinny jeans and very nice black boots with only a slight heel. A fitted royal blue shirt that highlights my eyes is on my somewhat toned chest. To accompany my shirt, is a light grey vest with black buttons that match the pants.

I never really did get that tall. I only grew to be 5'3, so I'm actually pretty short. My face is so much more handsome now. My features haven't really changed, but I look healthier. My face isn't sunken in, my cheek bones don't jut out, and I'm not ghost white anymore. I am still pale but my hair seems to make my skin look more natural. My bangs cover the top of my heart shaped face and the eye patch over my right eye.

That patch reminds me of my torture every day. Even though it was never truly hurt from the men, it was infected because of it. In that place no one took care of my eyes, and even though I could tell there was something wrong they wouldn't do anything about it. By the time my parents took me to the doctor it was too bad to fix. Now I can see out of it, but it is very hard and uncomfortable. It is discolored as well. I hate that eye with all my might.

"Hey, are you ready?" I hear Lizzy call.

"Yeah." I call back.

* * *

When we get to the club all I see are red alarms going off in my head. Its dark, there are what seem to be perverts everywhere, music is loud, and alcohol is everywhere. Great, everything I hate wrapped up in one building. Right when I step in I try to run out, but Alois and Lizzy are standing in my way.

"Hey dude, come on. Let's go get you your first drink." Alois says to me.

He lead the way over to the bar stools and had me sit down. He then starts to order our drinks and flirt with the server. I look over at the guy sitting next to me and smile. His only response is a creepy stare and then a look down at my legs. I turn away and start to twist my earring between my fingers. It's a nervous habit I developed 3 years ago when I got them pierced. I look away and across the room and find dozens of people grinding against each other. What wonderful dancing (if you can call it that). I continue my gaze down the wall and see others drinking, eating, talking, kissing, and many other things. Then I see a group of girls all flushed and looking to the left. Of course on instinct I follow their gaze. What I see is an extremely handsome man. He is quite tall, much taller than me. He has dark hair and a pale face. That is all I can tell from this distance, but I can tell he must me handsome. And this gorgeous man is staring right at me.

I have just realized that I've never really thought about someone like that.

* * *

Sebastian P.O.V.

The beauty on the other side of the room has finally noticed me. Damn that kid looks good. I wonder how old he is. He's kinda short, but he doesn't really look like the rule breaker kind of person, so…

The boy fidgets in his seat when he sees me. He reaches up for his ear again and starts to play with it. I'd bet fifty bucks that he has an earring.

A blonde boy hands him and another girl next to him some drinks. The boy just stares at it and holds it in his hands awkwardly. The blonde boy in the booty shorts lifts the boys hands and puts the cup up the boys plump, pink, lips.

His body may be small, but even in the dark I can tell this boy has something going for him. His hair looks dark, but I can't tell what color it truly is. He is skinny, but not just plain boney, and his legs are damn sexy.

I can tell all of this from all the way over here and in the dark. Yep, I've found the one for tonight.

"Hey buddy. I see you looking over there. Is it that pretty little thing with the drink? Claude asks.

"I don't know… Are you looking at the blonde?" I reply. I know it irritates him when I answer his questions with another one. That is my duty as his best friend and worst enemy to annoy the hell out of him.

"I very well may be. Now would you like to go catch some prey with me?"

"Sure. I'd love to take home a pretty little ads tonight."

* * *

Ciel P.O.V.

I take another sip from my drink. It actually tastes pretty good.

"How is it?" Lizzy asks me.

"It's okay, Elizabeth." I reply. She gives me a pout with sad eyes and lip stuck out. Honestly I'm fine with calling her Lizzy, but when I call her Elizabeth her reactions are always so great.

I turn around to see if that guy is still staring at me, but when I look he is gone. I look back at Alois and find an equally exquisite man standing next to him on the dance floor. Almost as soon as Alois lays eyes on the man he starts to "dance" with him.

I turn back to where Lizzy was sitting, but she is gone as well. I look around to find her talking with one of her friends from high school. I look back to my drink and take the last sip.

When I look to my right to see Lizzy again, I see a beautiful black haired, fair skinned, red eyed man. No this man's eyes were not red, they were crimson. They were like glowing rubies stuck inside a small ring, then compressed into shiny orbs that any jewel collector would waste his life trying to find. Anyone who dared try to look into those eyes could just melt in the fierce passion that was kept within the crimson irises.

"Hello, young man." This handsome angle said as he took my hand and kissed it. That voice as enough for anyone to hear. I could hear that deep, husky, sexy voice and die happy as could be right now. "My name is Sebastian Michaelis. It is a pleasure to meet your acquaintance."

I tried so hard to keep my face indifferent, but I have to so this guy doesn't get the wrong idea.

"Ciel. I'm sure it is a pleasure to meet you but I must be going." I say as I turn away from him.

As I start to walk away I feel a firm grasp on my wrist and I flinch. Damn, this is going to be a long night.

* * *

**Okay so I know that Sebastian wasn't mentioned much, but at least he showed up right?**

**So I read what I wrote last week and… I realized how much of a bitch I sounded like. I was asking for a lot, but by reviews I personally meant follows and favorites too, and I met that goal. It was not you guys, but completely me last week. I was just stressed and in a really bad mood so, I'm very sorry.**

**So… SEBASTIAN FINALLY SHOWED UP! What did you guys think of him? (REIVIEW IDEA). I kind of have an idea of what I want his personality to be like but go ahead and give me some suggestions about him. **

**I probably won't update this weekend because I'm really busy, but I will continue this story.**

**Thank you to **_The Girl In The Darkk_ **and **_fearlessshadowhunter _**for reviewing. Others thank you for reading. Please review/favorite and whatever else.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Nothing belongs to me except the plot. Sorry no editing done so there my be mistakes.**

**Chapter 6 **

Sebastian P.O.V.

I felt him flinch in my grasp when I grabbed his wrist. His body became tense and ridged, still like a statue. With my sensitive hearing I could hear his breathing had picked up. I could suddenly feel his pulse in his wrist. I quickly snatched my hand away from him and held it close to my chest. Even after I left go he stayed still. I slowly moved to the side to see his face. His eyes were wide and staring blankly. When he saw me he suddenly relaxed. His breathing went back to normal and life was breathed back into his body.

"I'm so sorry I don't know what came over me." I say trying to sound innocent. His head was tilted down so that he couldn't look at me as I said it though. I wonder what happened. I didn't do anything wrong, I just grabbed his hand. Did I disrespect him or something?

"No it's fine. I just over reacted" he says with his head tilted down, his bangs covering his eyes. Now that I'm close I notice his hair is blue. Not just bright blue, or neon blue like some people die their hair. This was a slate color. _It has to be dyed _I think to myself. Even though his face is hidden right now, I remember his peculiar eye patch. It is on his right eye. I can't help but wonder what kind of fashion statement that could be.

All the sudden the boy turns around and runs off into the crowd. I try to catch him but his small body is hidden in the sea of people.

Ciel P.O.V.

I can't believe I just did that. How could something as simple as grabbing my hand make me have a panic attack? At least it was a small one.

I continue walking through the mass of intoxicated people until I see Lizzy. I weave through the people and grab her arm. I pull myself close to her and rest my head on her shoulder. She shrieks a bit when this is done, probably because she didn't know who I was. I bury my face into her neck and just stand there. She is my rock. She never lets me down when I am in distress. Ever since I came back she won't leave me alone if she can tell something is wrong.

She vowed to me the day she saw me again that she would never leave me alone again. When I was scared, she would hold me until I felt safe. When I am hurt, she bandages me up. When I am lonely, she makes me hang out with her and her girl-friends. When I am sad, she makes me happy. That is why I came straight here. She will know how to make me feel good again, she always does.

"Ciel, what's up with you?" she asks. Her breath smells of alcohol and her attitude doesn't seem quite normal.

"Liz, who the hell is this?" I hear a low pitched voice say. I slightly lift my head to see a man. He is about average height, has dark brown hair, blue eyes and freckles on his pale face. I look at his abdomen to find that he is quite muscular under his tight, revealing t-shirt.

"Oh, Al this is Ciel, my cousin." She pulls me away from her neck and turns me to face this 'Al'. "Ciel this is Alfonse, my friend from senior year. Ciel, Alfonse. Alfonse, Ciel." She introduced us.

Damn. I just want to talk to her, not this fool.

"Oh, nice to meet you Ciel."

"Nice to meet you too, Alfonse."

His name happens to remind me of one of the first anime I ever watched. After a year of being home, I discovered a new obsession. Anime. One of the first I ever watched was _Full Metal Alchemist_. One of the main characters names just happened to be Alfonse.

"Just to get this of my mind, were you named after an anime character?" I say. I'm trying not to sound like a complete weirdo, but that never works. I may have caught up in other things, but my social skills are permanently damaged.

"Uh… no I don't think so." He says with an odd gaze towards me.

"Okay, well since you two are introduced, how about we split up" she says and grabs Al's hand and starts to lead him away.

"But wait!"

"What Ciel?" she stops and asks irritated.

Why was it that I came over here again? Oh yeah! That handsome creep made me have a panic attack. "Um… I just don't really want to be alone." I say as innocently as possible.

"Well you'll get over it" she yells back as Al pulls her through the crowd.

She would never do that to me. How could she? She must be drunk. Well since she's gone I guess I'll just go back to my barstool.

I weave my way through the crowd and find my seat again. I order another drink (the same as before since I don't know anything else yet) and start to drink it.

* * *

I'm just taking the last sip when I feel a hand on my shoulder, causing me to jolt. "Ahhh" I yell while clumsy falling out of my seat.

On the floor I look up to see my blond headed roommate and a tall man standing next to him.

"Wow Ciel. Calm down." My friend says.

"Oh, it's just you, Alois."

Alois helps me up and brushes my shirt off as if there was dirt on it.

"Ciel this is Claude. Claude this is my friend Ciel."

I look from my friend's obviously drunk face up to the tall man behind him. This _Claude _is actually very tall. About as tall as the man from before. Claude is also broad and no doubt muscular. His hair is slicked back but in a relaxed way, not full of gel or anything. It looks black but has a purplish tint to it. His eyes are just as beautiful as the other man's. The only difference is that Claude's eyes look like liquid gold. Gold that is swirling around slowly like a deep yellow colored lava. The glasses that rest apron his face only magnifies the beauty of his eyes.

"Very nice to meet you, _Ciel_." He says as he leans down slowly and grabs my hand, placing his surprisingly warm lips against my small hand.

Sebastian P.O.V.

I guess I can't find him. I've been looking for about fifteen minutes, and I haven't seen a hint of his slate colored hair or tiny frame anywhere. Damn, and I was really looking forward to taking him home tonight. That milky white skin, thin body, nice curves, and those big, beautiful, innocent blue eyes. He was a treasure.

I guess I'll just go back and find Claude. I start to walk back to the barstools where I last saw him. Just as I make my way through the sea of idiots I see Claude standing by the barstools, just like I thought. But something else was there that I was not expecting. When I look over I see my precious gem staring at Claude with his hand held out to Claude's lips. There is my best friend trying to steal what we have already agreed was mine for the night. Although I still have yet to claim him mine.

I weave through the remaining people gracefully and sneak up right behind Claude. Invisible to Ciel's eye, I grab Claude and yank him away, putting my arm around his shoulder.

"There you are buddy." I say looking at Claude with a playful facial expression, but he can see in my eyes I am quite irritated with him.

"Oh, hello Sebastian. I was just getting acquainted with Alois' friend Ciel." Claude responds with the same emotions showing on his face and in his eyes.

I unhook my arm from Claude's neck and turn to look at the blonde who must be Alois. "Hello Alois. It is nice to meet you." I say and stick out my hand toward him.

"It's a pleasure, Sebastian" he says looking my body up and down with his ocean blue eyes.

Finally I turn toward Ciel. I take a step toward the boy who is looking at me.

"Oh, hi Ciel. I thought I lost you in the crowd back there. Did I do something to upset you?" I ask as I grab both of his hands.

He looks down and his slate bangs cover his eyes, but not enough to cover the slight blush I see on his cheeks.

"No, I just wasn't feeling well." the boy lies. He snatches his hands back and cradles one in the other close to his chest.

"Oh, well are you feeling well now?" I ask playing along with his little lie.

"No, actually I'd like to go home now. How about it Alois?" he asks his friend, but as I look over both of our friends have gone back to dancing.

He huffs turns away from me. I follow him as he walks back to his stool and takes a gulp of his drink.

"I thought you weren't feeling well." I say with my trademark smirk plastered on my face.

"Well I am feeling a little better now, so you can leave me alone now."

"Now what kind of person would I be if I left you sitting here all alone?"

"Look, I can see what you're doing, okay. I'm not stupid and I don't appreciate you acting like I'll just fall head over heels for you like all the other girls over there. Please just leave me alone."

Well… that didn't go as well as I thought it would. So this kid doesn't like the batboy type or the players, so I'll try the charming me next.

"Okay. I'm sorry that you think I thought of you that way. I'll leave you alone, but can we at least start over?" I ask with what I think is a hopeful expression on my face.

He glares at me with his eyes half hidden by his bangs. Resting his elbow on the table he supports his head with his hand. His blue eye wanders to his mostly empty drink and he stares at it for a good 30 seconds.

Without looking at me he mumbles "Fine"

Okay second chance.

"Hello my name is Sebastian Michaelis." I say holding out my hand to him for a second time.

"Hi" he says looking at me through his blue locks.

"I've been looking at you for some time now, and I think you're quite beautiful" I say while suggestively putting my hand on his leg and dunning it up his thigh.

"That is actually really creepy. I mean I barely know you." He says in an irritated tone while pushing my hand away with force.

Okay so this is going to take longer than I thought. But this boy will be mine no matter how long it takes. It's been a while since I've had a challenge like him.

"Well how about we get to know each other better." I refute his reasoning.

"Okay. What do you want to know?" he asks lifting his head completely.

"Well the simple things."

"Like what?" Damn this kid. He's just trying to get under my skin.

"Like, what is your favorite color?"

"Hm, I guess it would be either blue or dark grey."

"Okay. Well mine is black, if you can't tell." I say watching his eyes wander to my attire. My shirt is a button, maroon colored shirt with black edges. It has the top 3 buttons undone, showing a peek of my chiseled chest. On top of my shirt is my black leather jacket. My bottom half is cover by my black skinny jeans that have a chain to accompany them. Lastly I have my boots. Not like stripper boots or cowboy boots, but my biker boots.

"Well that makes sense." He says more to himself than to me.

"How old are you?" I ask.

"Just turned 21. What about you?"

"I am 24 right now."

"Well that's good to know" he says. It is very good indeed.

"Okay my turn." He states. "What is your favorite animal?" he inquires.

"Oh cats of course. They are the most majestic of creatures."

He sits quietly for a moment. "Oh, I'm really more of a dog person."

"Really? But there so gross and slobbery, and don't get me started on the barking."

"Well I can't like cats because I'm allergic, so I don't really have a choice on that one."

Well that is good to know. I look at him with a disappointed look on my face. "Now Ciel, didn't anyone ever teach you that you can love from a distance." I say. He giggles to himself at that comment. I think I'm getting somewhere with him.

"Okay my turn" I say. "If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?" I ask as I lean m body towards him and rest my head on my hand.

Ciel P.O.V.

Um… I've never actually thought about that. I put my hand up to my head and tap my finger against my forehead. It's just an old trick I leaned from Winnie the Poo. If I could go anywhere it would be… it would be…

"Pairs."

He gives me an exasperated look.

"Oh come on Ciel. That is so cliché."

"Shut up okay. I have always wanted to go there, even when I was just a boy. I wanted to see the Effie tower. When I was little I dreamt of going to the top of it and screaming 'Mon nom est Ciel!' which would mean' My name is sky!' to all of them. And what about Paris? You got a better place?

"I'd go up to northern Canada or Greenland or something like that. Because it would be cold, making my lover need to snuggle me to keep warm. Some ice skating and sledding. Plus just imagine eating dessert snuggled up in a blanket and looking out towards the stars. Maybe even if I'd be lucky id see the northern lights."

He is gazing off into the distance like he's looking at something far, far away from here.

"So, what would you think of a trip like that?"

"Well I have to give it to you. You're creative. I don't think Canada or Greenland are many peoples first choice for vacations." I say smiling at him.

"Well I think we know each other a little bit now, so how about we get to know each other a bit more."

"And how would we do that?" I ask curios to find out if he meant something sexual again.

"Well, Ciel I'd be honored if you would go on a date with me."

I really need to think this through. I look down at the counter again and stare. My hand slowly makes its way up to my earring. He seems like a nice guy, but there are lots of guys who _seem _nice.

He must have noticed my distress because he quickly adds, "You can bring a friend. I'll bring one too. It will be a double date. I can even invite a second friend of you want two friends there!"

This is more comforting. I kind of like him, but I can't trust anyone. No one. That's my vow.

"Please just _one_ date? If you still don't like me I'll leave you alone, but not until you give me a chance."

I stay silent for a good 30 seconds and then I say softy, "Olay, but only if all our friends agree to come."

"Yes!" he says as he stands from his chair. "Olay we'll go out on next Saturday, okay?"

"Okay. But where?"

He pauses and thinks. "I don't know yet but I will. Can I have your phone number?"

Ugh. Should I?

"Alright. Give me your phone."

He gives me the phone and I type my number in.

"Olay well I need to go now. I have to work tomorrow even though it's Sunday. Well I'll talk to you soon. Bye." He says as he starts to walk away.

"Bye" I say back as I turn toward my drink again.

I guess I got myself a date.

* * *

**Okay so I know that I have been really bad, but there was a lot going on. Lots of finals to study for, make up work to make up, a little sister that never stops bugging me, and plenty more. But enough excuses. I was really just being lazy and that is not acceptable. I will try to do better now that summer is here.**

**So Sebs and Ciel are going on a date. Got any suggestions for where they should go? I would really appreciate it if you guys made suggestions. I want to include you in the making if the story.**

**So Follow, Favorite, REVIEW, and whatever else. Love you guys 3**


	7. Chapter 7

Ciel POV

Sebastian runs out into the crowd in the direction of the doors. Now that he is gone I'm all alone again. I pull out my phone and check the time. It's only 11:26 but it feels much later. God I just want to go home and crawl under the covers, curl into a ball and fall asleep all warm and comfortable in my big bed.

Pretty soon I get bored and go on Netflix. Hmm… what should I watch now? My immediate first thought is, Free! I turn on the dramatic show about boys who love swimming that I've grown to adore so dearly and begin to watch it.

* * *

I get about one and a half episodes done when I hear a particularly directed muffled voice coming from outside of my earbuds. I reach up and take the buds out of my ears reluctantly.

"Ciel, what the hell are you doing?" I hear a high pitched feminine voice calling to me.

I turn around to see a quite flushed Lizzy standing there with her hands on her hips.

"What does it look like? I was watching hot, half naked, muscular men swimming." I say slightly mad at her.

"No, I mean why are you doing that right now? You're supposed to be having a good time."

"Well how the hell am I supposed to have a good time when you and Alois fucking leave me all alone?"

"… well you were talking to someone right?"

"Well yeah. But it was someone that I quickly became terrified of and you never even helped me! You just ran the fuck away with that dumb ass motherfucker and did who knows what with him." I start to yell as my grasp on my temper starts to loosen.

"Ciel…" She looks down at her feet wiggling with discomfort. "You were okay. There was nothing to worry about."

With that I completely unravel. And I yell

"No! You know what? Yeah there was nothing to worry about. But the point is, I FUCKING NEEDED YOU! Were you there? NO! You said you'd always be there. But you weren't. You ran off with some FUCKING DUDE so that you could do whatever the fuck you guys did."

"Ciel…"

"You weren't there. What if I needed you? You know I'm afraid and you completely ignored it. You guys forced me to come here..."

I notice the regretful and devastated expression that has settled on Lizzy's face and take a breath. "But then completely left me alone…" I finish in a slight whisper.

She steps forward and hugs me. With her being taller she has to lean her head downward to rest it upon my shoulder. Her grasp around my torso tightens.

"I'm sorry…. I didn't mean to… Ciel I…. Do you want to go home?" After suggesting this she looks up at me.

"If you really want to we can go home now." She says and takes a step back.

"Yeah I really would." I reply softly. That shouting and rage took my last bit of energy.

"Okay then. Let's go find Alois."

After searching the constantly increasing crowd, eventually we find the drunk blond.

I walk over to him and put my hand on his shoulder. He turns around to see it is me and he smiles.

"Alois, we're going to go home so say bye and meet us outside in a couple minutes, okay?" I explain to him.

He sinks back into a man's arms. When I look up this man surprisingly happens to still be Claude. Claude wraps his arms around Alois' body and holds it tight.

"Actually, I think I'm going home with someone else tonight." He says looking up at Claude who has a wide smirk on his face.

"What? Alois you promised you'd stop doing this. You can't go home with any guy you meet." a feminine voice says behind me.

"Well, Lizzy, I lied." He says giggling to himself.

I pull him out of Claude's arms. "You don't even know the guy."

"I know he has a long tongue."

"Alois, I'm being serious."

"Ciel, I'm a grown ass fucking man. I can do whatever I want and sleep with anyone I please, so leave it alone." He states with a more serious tone.

"Can you at least not do this on his birthday?" Lizzy chimes in. She sounds like she's pleading. I know she doesn't like him doing this just as much as me. Maybe even more.

"God you guys are annoying. Ciel is fine, and I just want to have a good time. If it bugs you this much, just go home and cry yourself to sleep. Bye" he says as if he's just making small talk. He skips away after Claude like a puppy. As they disappear into the crowd Lizzy grabs my hand and pulls. "Let's just go home."

Lizzy and I hail a cab. As we drive home I look out the window seeing the frozen streets of the city.

Snow is piled up on the sides of the road, glittering with all the florescent lighting. The snow that is untouched by humans looks like a soft cloud low to the ground. When we pass a park with a gigantic field, it's the most beautiful thing. The once grassy, open, green field is now a blanket of soft, white, snow. The small pond is frozen over with ice and ton of marks and lines are engraved in it from the ice-skating people that enjoy it so. The trees usually filled with beautiful green leaves are now bare and covered with a thick layer of the cold white snow.

Our first winter of being free from those monsters, we came straight to this park.

Although I was a bit reluctant at first, Alois and I played like small children in the snow. Making snow angles and snowmen. Racing on sleds and having snowball fights. We stayed out until we almost turned into snowmen ourselves. I smile to myself at the thought. That was one of the first times I really felt happy, and maybe even normal after all that had happened.

About a year later it started happening.

Even when we were being held as slaves Alois once told me that after being there for so long, he sometimes enjoyed what they did to him. It became like an addiction. Now that he wasn't forced to have sex, he wanted it. He wants love.

He told me about his faint memories of his parents before they died. About how he was an orphan. About how he and Luka were taken. About how he doesn't remember anyone's love other than Luka's.

He wants love.

I don't think he is a slut or anything of the sort. I believe that he just doesn't know any other way to express his feeling for another, so he resorts to showing them with his body. That always ends badly for him though.

I'm pulled out of my thoughts when we arrive at home. It was actually a very short drive.

I climb the stairs and say goodnight to Lizzy as she goes into her apartment. I enter my own and prepare for bed. Crawling under my blanket with only my boxers on, I pull off my eye patch. Just as I close my eyes a bright light illuminates my room. I look over at my night stand and see my phone with a notification on it.

A text. Wonder who that could be from.

-HAPPY BIRTHDAY CIEL! We miss you so much. We have to meet up some time! All of us, meaning Alois too.

This text is from my dear friends Fred and Abby Abberline.

Another one comes through in a matter of seconds.

There is a picture of a newborn baby boy with green eyes and a head full of brown hair on my screen.

-Alexander Abberline, born on December 14, 2015 at 11:57 pm. We thought we'd name him after you since you share a birthday. Happy birthday Ciel Alexander Phantomhive.

Oh my god! They had their baby.

-Congratulations! Thank you very much. I am honored. The four of us will meet soon. I guess that makes five of us counting Alex. Goodnight

-Goodnight

It has been an interesting birthday. I guess better than my 10th birthday at the meadow, but still, I hate my birthdays.

* * *

**Okay. Hi everyone. It's been a while. I hope you haven't forgotten about this story. And I know, I know from all of you who still care about this story, I'm in trouble, but I found someone to help me edit so there will no longer be (quite as many) errors.**

**Not a lot happened. I had some writers block but I have ideas flowing for the nest chapter (which will include the date)**

**PLEASE REVIEW. I need inspiration. I just need to know where I'm at with the fans of this story. Sorry, but I don't know if people like the story or not.**

**Love you guys. Oh and I might put a new fic out there in the next moth or so.**


	8. author's note

Hello everyone! TheBestOfBlackButler is back! So, I know that I am in trouble for not updating for so long... but please give me a break.

After I wrote the last chapter I got writer's block. I tried writing chapter eight, but it just wasn't turning out right. I was also just not in the right mood to write it. Over the summer one of my family members died and another one almost died in an accident. the death of my family member was to be expected (he had been sick for a long time) but it still hurt. So if you guys could forgive me, that would be great!

But now that I am better. I will start updating again. The next chapter should come out sometime next week! Thanks you guys ;D


	9. Chapter 8

HELLO EVERYONE! THE STORY IS BACK. Hope you enjoy the long awaited short chapter.

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**Chapter 8**

I wake with a headache and an the sun streaming in through my window. Other than the sound of my breathing, the whole apartment is oddly quiet. I get up and put some grey shorts on over my boxers and brush my teeth. When I walk down the hall to Alois' room, he isn't there.

After I see he's not in his room, I go into the living room. I see our black couch and his green loveseat. I really hate that god damn loveseat. its really ugly and honestly ruins any kind of theme for a living room, but that loveseat is he won't ever give up.

I sit on the couch and give him a call. No answer. I try two more times and leave a voice mail but there was still no answer.  
I have somewhere to go I want to wait for him to get home. So I pull out my phone and scroll through my contacts until I find "mom". When I tap on her name it begins to call her.

"Good morning Mom" I say.

"Good morning darling" she says in a cheerful tone. Hearing her voice makes me realize how tired and groggy I sound.

"Mom, sorry but I'm going to have to miss church today."

"What, why?"

"I'm not feeling too good today. I've got a bad headache and I'm just so tired."

There is a short silence but then she answers, "That's okay sweetie. We'll see you next week. Rest well."

"Love you Mom."

"Love you too." She says softy and hangs up.

I grew up going to church but, I have to admit that church is a bother. I go to make my parents happy. When Alois and I came home my father told Alois that if he wanted to live under his roof, he would go to church. Of course as soon as he moved out last year he stopped going, but I told them I'd continue to go with them on Sundays. Even though I said that it doesn't mean that I believe anything they preach about. When I was being tortured, where was God? Did he ever answer my prayers? No. How could a god who loves you ever let that happen? The answer was simple. I found out the God I learned about in Sunday school doesn't exist a long time ago.

Alois never wasted his time on God but he sure knows how to waste it on relationships that won't last. Relationships that never even had a hope of blossoming. One night stands. A boyfriend that sticks around for a month and then disappears without a trace. He used all his precious time falling in one sided love. And when he falls apart, I'm the one who has to pick up all the pieces and put him back together.

But I'm the opposite. I've never fallen for anyone. I don't want to get hurt again. Never. And love is unpredictable. I'll never waste my life away wanting someone to love me.

I'm brought out of my thoughts by my phone chiming. Hoping that is Alois, I grab the phone quickly and look at. I swipe my finger across my phone and unlock it to find a text from an unknown number.

-Hey what do you say about going out to eat on Saturday?

Who the fuck could that be? Go out to eat? Saturday?

-Oh and by the way this is Sebastian

Sebastian? Then all the memories of last night come flooding back. He too good to be true guy. The one who scared me to death but wouldn't leave me alone until I'd go out with him. What was I thinking? I can't go out with him! I can't go out with anyone. Shit but he already has my number. If I tell him no he'll just keep pestering me.  
I just decide to not text him back until I've found two people to go with me. So with this decision I turn on the TV and fall asleep.

* * *

In my unconsciousness I hear the front door creak open. Half awake, I squint and see my blond headed friend peak his head around the door. When he spots me and sees that I'm "asleep", he walks in side, His hair is a wreck. His shirt is hanging off his shoulder and the black shorts are unbuttoned and falling off his thin hips. Shoes in hand, he shuts the door and walks down the hall to his bedroom.

I sit up and wait until he reenters the living room. But instead of sitting down he goes straight into the kitchen. He grabs a left over piece of pizza and then turns around. When he sees me staring at him his tired face changes into a smile that a guilty child gives its parent.

"Why were gone so long?"

He tries to ignore me and sits on the love seat and starts flipping through the channels.

"Alois!"

"Ooo Ciel look at the sale! We should go pretty soon."

"God damn it, Alois! Answer me!"

"Ciel, we both know where I was so can you let it go."

"No. I can't. I thought you said you'd stop doing that."

"What's the harm Ciel? There's nothing wrong with me wanting to have a little fun sometimes!"

"Yeah what about me. Huh? Am I not allowed to have fun? You drag me out there and then left me alone the whole time. I can't ever have any fun! Especially when I'm too busy worrying about you getting yourself kidnapped, or raped, or hell knows what!" l yell at him.

"WELL I NEVER TOLD YOU TO FUCKING WORRY ABOUT ME, DID I?!" He yells louder.

We both get quiet. The silence seems to last forever. The only sounds that fill the air are the cars passing by on the street and the low volume on the TV. I sit and stare at the floor. My head is bent down so that I don't have to see him.

After a while I hear him start to fidget in his seat. Quietly over the other sounds I can hear him talking to me.

He says in a very serious and almost sad tone, "Ciel… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said what I said last night. And today. I've been a douche, alright. And I know it. It's just…"

"Just what?"

"You have your way of thinking, and I have mine. I just want to finally be able to live my life the way I want too. So could you back off a little?"

"Yeah, I guess." I reply quietly.

"But I actually meant it earlier. I want to go and get some new shorts." He says with his usual cheerful and humorous voice comes back.

"Yeah okay, but what would you think about doing me a favor?"

"I don't know. Depends on what it is."

"How about going a double date with me when I go out with Sebastian?"

"Really? Are you serious right now? The one and only Ciel Phantomhive is going on a date?"

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**Hey everyone. Hoped you liked the short and un edited chapter. So um review and whatever else younguys want to. See u guys in the next week or two**

**-TheBestOfBlackButler**


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